Diary of an up and coming sociopath

Since I know you’ve all been waiting, time to the traditional Christmas update, somewhat belated:

DVD:
Armando Iannucci Shows DVD
The Two Faces of Mitchell and Webb DVD
Tom Baker’s Ultimate Sci-Fi Quiz DVD (it’s true! People do buy them.)

Consumer Electronics:
New electric razor
Regionless DVD/DivX player
Headphones

Books:
The Timewaster Letters 1 & 2
Gordon Ramsay’s Sunday Lunch
Loads more Lies to tell Small Children
Charlie Brooker’s Screen Burn collection
A retro gaming book that I forget the name of

Other:
The Inquisitor figure
Various chocolate/toiletries
Dalek Keyring
Ice Scraper for car
Black T-Shirt

Cash: About £130
Chocolate Orange Count: 4

…and probably more besides. I have enough trouble remembering this stuff on Boxing day, let alone almost a week after the fact.

Still, when I last blogged (properly) there was still a lot going on. On the 16th, a Saturday, we spent the day cooking an utter shitload of food and then went up to Sam and Al’s for our Local Christmas. I peeled and roasted an entire bag of potatoes (with tasty, artery-clogging goose fat) and making yorkshire pudding’s on a virtual conveyer belt (final count was 3 large and 4 small, I think, representing 3 hours, 4 packs of mix and 8 egg’s worth) Nikki did a bunch of veg, and Josh made Egg Nog using a recipe he found on the internet. We somehow managed to finish everything in roughly the same amount of time, and we took it all up to Sam and Al’s in the utterly frigid weather and feasted on the food everyone had brought with them, while watching Scrooged. Then we finished off the remaining food. Here is a particularly bad photo of me (I need a shave, hence the new razor…) eating cold yorkshire pudding. In fact there’s a whole photo set. Those attending were Sam, Josh, Al, Me, Nikki, Ian, Damien, Tauf, and 2 of Al’s friends, at least one of whom I believe was called James.

Two days later, it was off to see Tenacious D! We met Josh at Hammersmith station after work, and went up to the Plough, a nearby-ish Wetherspoons with incredibly rude service (Call me old-fashioned, but at the bar I expect to hear something a little more polite than simply “What do you want?”) but enjoyable food. As enjoyable as Wetherspoons can be, really. The gig was at the Hammersmith Apollo (aha, did you not guess from my earlier mention? Everything happens for a reason, you see, it’s all connected.) so we met up with Sam and Al outside the venue and found ourselves a spot near the back for the support act. In this case, it was another of those “intentionally bad” comedians. He was really old and insulting everyone while telling shit jokes. It was occasionally amusing, but after the intentionally shit antics of the previous week’s Mitchell and Webb show we were perhaps slightly less enthusiastic about it than we might’ve been.

For the D’s main set, I went down the front and got a good amount of enjoyment from what little moshpit existed. I think, in honesty, I preferred the Brixton show we saw before but that’s mainly because the songs off the first album are better. The stage show for this one was utterly massive, though. Halfway through the gig the band “died” and were transported to Hell, which was impressively rendered with a giant painted backdrop, flaming volcanoes and more besides. Astonishing stuff.

Having barely begun the week, we still had to go to Dave, Milk & Cookies VI at Bush Hall on the 20th. For this gig I was finally using up some holiday and had the day off, and Eri also stayed over with us on her way home. While the London setting meant no seats and a heavier emphasis on his solo material (and indeed, no milk or cookies, because they have no catering license) the gig was nonetheless excellent. The Random Covers portion of the gig (where a page number is selected from a book of 1001 hits and Dave plays one) turned up the most hilarious cover of “Imagine” you’ll ever hear, with the song receiving the butchering it’s always been asking for. A few songs in, Ford introduced the next song by saying “please give it up for Fran Healy” and we all kind of stood there thinking “I could’ve sworn he just said Fran Healy…” It was quite unexpected, but there’s no denying that it was he, Mr. Travis himself. They did a cover of Dancing Queen, before turning everyone to the back of the hall, where they did a cover of Driftwood, totally unplugged. With Ford on piano, and Healy on top of piano.

That’s the kind of thing that makes gigs in London automatically better than gigs not in London.

Still the festivities continued because on the 23rd, Jo, Nikki and I went to see the Pipettes at the re-opened Roundhouse in Camden. The support came from Misty’s Big Adventure, who were both surprisingly loud and surprisingly enjoyable. I’m not a huge fan of the Pipettes, and it’s fair to say that without the benefits of production, their songs don’t sound as good, but it was still fun. During their encore, they rained paper confetti from the roof to create the effect of indoor snow. It worked great, and is probably the closest we’ll get to real snow…well, forever, as global warming will prevent all snow, as well as turn the whole Thames basin into a reservoir. Yay.

That brings us up to the 24th, which is when I was at home for a bit. Christmas Day I spent at Mum’s, went to Dad’s for an hour or two in the afternoon, and Nikki came over in the evening so we could watch that horrible shouting woman in the Dr. Who episode. On Boxing Day we went to Nan’s, and Nikki and Jo came to visit in the evening, then the 27th was Nikki’s mum’s birthday and that evening we went back home because I had work on the 28th! Good christ. I left at 5:00 that day, unable to secure new comics because they ship late because of Christmas, but luckily (or not) I was also in work on the 29th. The new hire, Shree, left at 10:00 because she felt ill, leaving Dipesh and I to do virtually nothing the whole day. I had two e-mails, neither of which was “actionable” (to use the office-speak). We did discover we were allowed to leave at 3:00, though, since it was a “christmas eve hours” day. And I got me some comics, so smiles all around, even if I did go in at lunch to discover some fat stinking guy running around, unloading boxes of comics incredibly slowly AND having opted to do DC comics FIRST! I hung around for a while but it became clear I wasn’t going to get comics at lunch so I returned after leaving work, to much better success. Typical.

Which brings us to this weekend! Nikki and I just watched Creep, which is about getting locked in the Underground system with some kind of mutant man-baby. It was pretty good, if only for the novelty value of going “ooh, Charing Cross” and shouting “HOW DID YOU GET FROM DOWN STREET TO CHARING CROSS AND BACK THAT FAST?” The incredibly unhelpful tube guard was also killed for his indifference, which was some kind of wish fulfillement, presumably. It’s quite short, so worth a watch if you’re into The Underground, or people getting their throats ripped out with hooks. Which I am. The extras also showed an amusing insight into how deluded the Director of a movie can be. “I wanted the audience to feel sympathy for the Creep” he said “more so than the main characters, even.” which, given that he was a mutant freak who killed a lot of people because of his “bad upbringing” (as the Director put it) is stretching credibility.

Oh yeah, and just while I’m thinking about it, let me chime in with the liberal viewpoint that killing Saddam doesn’t really accomplish anything. His power structures dismantled, his followers basically irrelevant now in Iraq, it would seem a safer and more fitting option to have left him to die, forgotten in a jail cell 20 years from now rather than execution. But still, that’s more or less what we’ve come to expect from the US and their new pet government in Iraq.

Wow. That’s a long entry, in which I say very little. Luckily I have my far more interesting end of year updates all ready to go, coming any day now! Probably Monday! Because they’re fun and make it easier for me to remember what happened when.

Things I forgot to bring home with me:

Nintendo DS
Phone Charger
Electric Razor

It’s going to be an Amish Christmas unless I get some serious hardware tomorrow.

I did remember to bring my issue of Arthur with a giant essay about Pornography by Alan Moore in, as well as my issue of Juxtapoz that has a Dave Choe feature, so between that and the latest Meathaus anthology I should be able to keep myself going, at least until the gifts roll in…

Taken from http://www.nme.com/news/coldplay/25543 

Coldplay have left a special Christmas message for fans on Coldplay.com.

The short film is entitled ‘Coldplay Dance Anthems 1906′ and is set in “olde London town”.

Shot in sepia, the band are dressed in period costume and dancing to a collection of techno songs, including a snatch of their own track ‘Clocks’.

“I would just like to wish you all a merry Christmas. I predict railways will be big in the future,” jokes drummer Will Champion.

As previously reported, Coldplay are set to mount a South American early next year.

Think they wanted the whole world to know that? You’ve got to give them credit for advance planning, if nothing else.

This reminds me of yesterday’s paper, which claimed HIGONFY was presented by “the former William Hague.”

Big things going on here at Sociopath Towers. December’s a busy month for many reasons. Reason the first:

CAPTAIN! The band, that is. On the 5th Nikki and I went to see them perform songs from their debut album, and songs not from their debut album, at the Mean Fiddler. I ain’t never been to the Fiddler before, and despite the world’s rudest door staff and a grotty as fuck interior, it’s not a bad venue. The gig was great, though. Captain were one of the few bands that manages to impress me at the V festival when I hadn’t heard any of their songs before. Usually it takes me knowing the songs to keep me interested, but they managed it. By the time we saw them this time, I was far more familiar with their material and enjoyed it even more. Annoyingly, the best song was a track that I don’t believe there’s a studio version of yet. Oh well.

The 8th heralded the start of what we can, due to the inescapable nature of the pun, describe only as the “Wii-kend.” Keen-eyed readers will have noticed my mention of this. I took the day off in anticipation of this glorious occasion, so imagine my glee when I discovered that this would also allow me to be hitting up the major ticket websites in time for the Arcade Fire tickets going on sale. Tickets were duely procured and roughly an hour afterwards, Josh fought back the crowds and made it back home with his Wii and accessories, including my controller. We performed the ritual unpacking, hooked it up to our gear and then spent the rest of the day frying our brains with this wonderful new piece of technology. We went up to Sam’s in the afternoon so that we could indulge some 4-player fun with him and Ian, who was also off work and Wii-ing all over the place. Wii sports is surprisingly excellent. Bowling and Golf especially, which I don’t very much enjoy in real life, is great fun on the Wii. The pool game in Wii play is excellent stuff too, and the virtual console games amaze with their accuracy. Josh and I are currently trying to beat Golden Axe, and we already got through Sonic, then there’s Donkey Kong Country.

On Saturday, I didn’t play much Wii because my joints all hurt from the exercise I’d had playing so vigourously the day before. An utterly pathetic display, but thankfully I wasn’t the only one afflicted. The gaming revolution is going to be harsh on us all.

Tuesday a large collection of local nerds (and nerdettes) convened in Brixton to see THE TWO FACES OF MITCHELL AND WEBB. You may notice that clicking on that link takes you to a review by fellow-attendee and local philanthropist, Cappsy. I mostly agree with it, so feel free to assume that’s merely a slightly more Northern version of what I’d be saying. The gist of it is, it’s fucking funny, but also a shame they repeated so much from the TV and Radio series. The interlude act was painfully horrible, and some of the material, while familiar, becomes far more impressive when done live just because you can’t quite believe the technical genius that goes into delivering it without a second’s pause. There was a “Big Talk” audience Q&A session that was great. Rachel and Seb both asked questions, and though I didn’t suggest it at the time, I think Rachel should’ve asked the same question she did at Alan Moore and see how the reactions differed. Being in the Brixton academy with seats in was bizarre, though it did still smell heavily like the Brixton Academy. As part of the tube journey home, Sam and I conceived of the drink Pimlito, Pimms and Vimto, which will soon make us rich beyond your wildest dreams. We also passed through Stockwell, or as I like to call it, “The Murder Station.” There’s no ailment that automatic weaponary can’t cure at Stockwell, especially if you run towards a departing train. As a white person, I have relatively little chance of death but ethnic minorities probably feel ill at ease there. I know I would.

Yesterday, I did not go to the work’s christmas party. Not part of any boycott, though, I’m just not a party person, especially if it means dressing in a suit. Maybe I’d go to a knife-party, but for insurance reasons work is unlikely to sanction this.

On a lighter note, I am enjoying the current antics of Britain’s most recent serial killer. I was very glad the media started calling him a “ripper” for a while, but they seem to have settled on “strangler” for now. I always wanted to be a ripper, as far as serial killing goes it’s quite a prestigious title. Best bet is to start murdering people in a place that begins with R, I think, the tabloids love alliteration.

In the coming week before Christmas, we’ll be seeing Tenacious D, The Pipettes and David J. Ford himself, but totally not in that order. I should do the Christmas shopping.

Wii have a we!

Yesterday we went to see Casino Royale and it was fucking excellent. I wasn’t going to bother for many reasons. I’ve never watched a Bond movie at the cinema, and I totally lost interest during the Brosnan years. I don’t even like action films that much, I find them incredibly tedious sometimes and with a running time approaching 2 and a half hours, I wasn’t sure if I could be motivated. After he went to see it, Josh recommended it highly (We have vastly different tastes in certain areas, but I find I can rely on his opinion of a film, Evolution and Lord of the Rings not withstanding) so when Rachel and Seb suggested we go, I felt as if fate was dealing me another hand (ah, thematic metaphor. Am I not a master of writingness?)

Turns out, I’m glad I went, because it’s probably the best (non-comics) action film that I’ve seen in like 5 years. It scores mega points for ending just as I felt my tolerance for the film start to wane slightly. I knew it was on to a winner when I realised I’d been watching poker for 20 minutes and I was still completely glued to the screen. I can’t really say anything about the film, or Daniel Craig, that hasn’t been said anywhere else by about a million people more qualified than I, but it’s almost certainly the best Bond film ever, and Craig is probably the best Bond ever. It’s got some hilarious moments in but doesn’t resort to the cheesy dialogue that previous films have (let’s admit it. The character was called “Christmas” in that one film for no other reason than to get the ‘joke’ in) there’re no stupid gadgets (well, not many, but he does rely on his SONY ERICSON phone a lot) and best of all, no Halle Berry. Best of all, he starts the film by shooting up an Embassy, which you know takes balls. Balls that are later subjected to some serious torture, and I mean that literally. Jesus christ, I feel winded just thinking about it. If any woman ever thought childbirth was a raw deal, they only have to hear those screams to see that it’s not all sunshine and lollipops when you keep your gonads on the outside.

Anyway, watching Bond in action has made me realise I should probably become a secret agent. My name is already two-thirds correct which is way more than most. I don’t think there was anything in the film that I wouldn’t be able to do, anyway, though I’m not so keen on the tuxedo so I’ll probably just keep it as T-Shirt and Jeans, which it’d be easier to run in anyway. Clearly I am a genius.