Diary of an up and coming sociopath

At work on Wednesday, we were lucky enough to have the Yahoo! Answers bus for a few hours. We were on the way back from an extended lunch break meal and since it was on the way, went in for a quick look. It’s designed to promote the new Yahoo property, Yahoo Answers, which as I understand it is this thing where rather than using a search engine, you go and post your question in a forum and then some idiot gives you a completely incorrect response.

The bus itself is a surprisingly odd affair. When we went in we were asked the following questions. Why not play along? Answers at the bottom!

1. Which of the following textures do you enjoy most? (At this point, imagine placing your hand tentatively into an open-topped cylinder and finding A) Fur or B) Metal.)

2. Which smell do you like most? (At this point, imagine having a fishbowl full of scented cotton wool showed in your face. Do you prefer the A) Cinnamon or B) Amber.)

3. Which toy do you like most? A) Plasticine, or B) Lego?

4. Which subject did you like most at school, A) Music (As represented by a casio keyboard and a stereo) or B) Science (as represented by a junior chemistry set)

 If you chose mostly “A” you are right brained and therefore emotional, artistic, creative, and probably female (if you are a man, you are also therefore a bit gay).

If you chose mostly “B” then you are a left-brained cold, logical, emotionless potential serial killer and probably male. If you’re female then you’re probably not very likely to get a boyfriend and should accept the lonely days ahead.

If you chose the same amount of B and A answers then you’re presumably just a freak and should report yourself to the government for voluntary euthanasia because all you’re doing is fucking up tests like this, and we can probably do without you. You fucking fence-sitter.

Some of that was not strictly as the Bus explained, but more my take on it.

Upstairs, the bus had the seats ripped out and in its place, it had these inflatable chairs and a stack of “brainy” books next to it, like the dictionary and an encyclopaedia. There was also a set of Madlibs cards. On the stairwell there was a bubble machine, and they were playing party music, and had some laptops set up so people could use Yahoo Answers. If you can imagine a double decker bus that’s been gutted and had all that crap shoved inside, and been painted purple and green, you’re just about there psychologically. All you’re missing is the bus drive sat in the front seat, chewing on a sandwich and wearing an “I wish I was dead” expression.

I am led to believe the bus will be in various locations around the country, so don’t hesitate to take a look for yourself, and find out whether you’re gay or a serial killer!