Diary of an up and coming sociopath

The last week at work has been quite horrendous, in its own way. The site was repeatedly riddled with errors, and then just when it was looking slow, the work piled up on the last two days. Dipesh and I spent a total of about 5 man hours trying to find what an error was before eventually concluding that it wasn’t even anything to do with us, and it was a coincidence they stopped appearing the same time some big changes were made to them. That kind of time wasting can be frustrating when you see the huge pile of work you’ve got.

Ah well. I managed to catch a cold as well, which manifested itself this afternoon, just in time to infringe upon my weekend. Hardly the break I was expecting, but at least I’ll be able to sleep in. I probably caught it at one of my many social engagements which the past week has been full of.

On wednesday I had the 3CR gig. I managed to flog my ticket to some guy at the tube station. I skipped the first supports, and caught the smashup first. They were some really “hardcore” metal from new york or something, and had a guitarist who addressed the crown, punctuating every third word with the popular and multifunctional adverb, “fucking” - for instance, “You guys fucking ROCK! Fucking thank you for fucking coming here and fucking giving us your fucking support. You’re fucking cool.” The the Yo Yos played some generic-ish punk. It was probably good in its time, but it’s been almost 30 years since then. Move on already.

Unfortunately, 3CR were there to move on tonight. They played a set composed almost entirely of their first two albums, with only one off the third, but it was certainly a crowd pleaser. The mosh pit was small but energetic. By the end of the gig my limbs were in considerable pain and my vocal chords were probably bleeding, and it was most certainly the greatest 3CR gig since the last. But that’s it now, I guess we just have to sit and wait for solo careers or something. The londonist blog has a review of the gig if you’re interested.

Yesterday after work, Nikki and I went to meet Chris and his girlfriend in a really excellent pub in soho called the Intrepid Fox. We read up about it online briefly and the reviews out there are hilarious. It’s definitely a rock/goth pub that plays decent music, at a sensible level for conversation, and has skeletons made of what appear to be car parts hanging off the wall. And it was already teeming at 6:00 on a thursday. Such is the curse of central London. We’ll definitely have to hang out with the two of them again in the future., it was cool to meet up, since the last time we saw Chris was probably the Godiva festival like 2 years ago. His tastes in music and comics are bizarrely convergent with Josh’s.

Today I went to HMV after work to get Nikki a present for our anniversary. And, to be fair, I chose HMV because to promote the release of Sin City on DVD, they had hired in some pole dancers and I wasn’t about to pass up the chance of scantily clad gyrating women. Did I mention how much I enjoy London? It didn’t make me want to buy the Sin City DVD (I’m waiting for the exended version) but it did make me consider going to more strip clubs that I currently do. Which is never.

When I got back, Nikki and I exchanged presents (because she can’t take the strain of buying me something then waiting 3 days to actually give it to me) but there was nothing to fear for her because I was incredibly pleased to receive series 1 of Quantum Leap, which is a DVD set I’ve had on my list to buy since it came out, but which I’ve never managed to find the cash for after higher priority releases. I also received not one, but TWO belated Birthday gifts, both by way of America. Josh got me an excellent Avengers mug, which I will be employing greatly as the tea-drinking season approaches, and Rachel got me some unutterably excellent badges from Jim Mahfood’s 40 oz comics store. You will weep with jealousy for the trendyness of them, yes you shall.

Still, all this rambling and the head cold starts to fill your sinuses and put pressure onto your brain. I don’t do “ill” very well because I’m only teetering on the edge of coherance at the best of times, and it often pushes me over the brink into a state of conscious-unconsciousness when I’m even slightly disrupted. Don’t contact me before midday tomorrow.

Ouch. It was one of /those/ gigs. The really painful kind. A great was to see the band out, though, and a thoroughly good time was had by all. That is, me. I’ll do some proper evisceration later but there’s always part of me that likes to keep updated here too, even if it’s only to say there’s more coming later. This blog’s like an old friend you’re trying to get rid of but can’t quite bring yourself to tell to get knotted, in that respect. What would it do without me? (hint: prescription drugs comment spam, and lots of it)

Speaking of comments (and truly I am the master of the segue. They could put me on children’s TV. Possibly not.) you may have noticed from being intensely interested in the comics entries (as I know you all are) that in the comments I’ve agreed to do some writing for a wonderful and daring new webzine/community blog, Noise to Signal. It’s the kind I always wanted to do but could never, er, be arsed to, really. It was always on my to-do pile, buried beneath programming, comics, novels, and a Shatner-inspired spoken word project (one of tose is a lie. Try to guess which one!) so at least in this case the leg work has mostly been done already. I’m hoping to find time for my first contribution this Saturday. I know all of my fans will be there to support me and the site in general, as I write yet more about yet more comics. In equally elegant language as that. As a Weezer fan of moderate enthusiasm I heartily enjoyed Seb’s article about the lost Weezer album, Songs from the Black Hole, and I think you too would like to read it. Unless you hate Weezer, in which case you’d probably do well to stop reading about 3 clauses ago.

Yet another bumper week as I catch up from Tenerife and try to plough through a really huge amount of stuff. I’m starting to feel like I’m buying a lot of shite at the moment. I might reassess my habits in favour of TPBs and graphic novels for a little while, since I’ve got loads of those I want but no spare budget for them. Things could get violent in the oncoming bloodbath.

House of M #6 - Standard review coming. Some people hate HoM but I can’t find too huge a fault with it. It’s the entire Marvel Universe interacting in a truly old-school way, yet with a slightly new spin. Writing is great, art is great, but will anyone actually care that much about the plot unless they’re a huge marvel zombie like I am? I can’t wait to give this a whole read through, but the spin-off titles have been of less than encouraging quality, so I’m concerned about the eventual ramifications of the story. But no huge problems with the book itself. A.

Rising Stars: Voices of the Dead #4 - Why do i punish myself so? This issue takes a step into LSD enhanced water and makes me wonder what the fuck brought all this plot on. It occurs to me that for all Fiona Avery’s being pimped out as JMS’ protege, she doesn’t actually seem to have delivered much of a story that I’ve found worth reading. I’m a stupid completist but she might have actually broken that cycle. If this doesn’t pick up I may have to avoid any further rising stars material written by her. C-, because the art is passable given what the artists are working with.

Daredevil: Father - I’m finding this hard to follow polt-wise, because I can’t even remember the first issue and I only glanced over the second, but Quesada’s art is stronger than I’ve seen from many people in years. It’s criminal he doesn’t draw more really, because in the midst of all the executive work he does you forget he built his career being an artist, and then something like this comes along to show what you’re missing. Admittedly, his writing isn’t always the best, but I expect this will read much better when there isn’t an 18 month gap between issues 1 and 2 to contend with, and even more so when the rest of the story follows immediately. B+.

X-Men #175 - Milligan’s turn on the book is working pretty well. There’s a hilarious bunch of scenes in this issue which highlight how Havok isn’t really working well as a leader, in that people like Storm and Wolverine are all too aware of how badly they outrank him, even if he is technically in charge. Part of X-Men’s appeal has always been the so-called soap opera dynamic established by Claremont, so it’s good to se someone play that up a bit. The problem if any is that Milligan plays it up almost too much. The plot takes a back seat to inter-character dynamics. It’s unfortunte to say as well, but I have to admit I’m officiall sick of Larroca’s art. He’s not been working for me since day one, it’s more the fault of the colouring and inking than the actual art, but I’d just like to have a change to the whole art team at this point. He can be great, but I don’t think he’s truly at his best here. B-

Black Panther #8 - Oh, how I wanted to skip this. An inter-book, interleaved crossover, just like the 90s used to make, and to further hammer that point home it’s following directly from an X-Men book, and into an X-Men book. Paul O’Brien points out, in the latest X-Axis, that the continuity in this entire series is beyond fucked up. Luckily, I didn’t read the first Black Panther arc. All I know is what I’ve read in X-Men and this comic, so it all works fine for me. In fact, I’m enjoying this a lot more than Milligan’s side of the story. Reggie Hudlin seems to be quite at ease writing the X-Men. Unfortunately there’s a line pointing to deeper problems where he has a character say something like “don’t let the child get away, I need her virgin blood to cure my AIDs” which is si horrible a thing to have written on just about every level that I’m surprised it got in. It might’ve been supposed to make the character look stupid, but it just makes the writer look that way. B

New Avengers #10 - What a great comic, seriously. The Avengers hasn’t been this good in decades. Which is odd because this issue mostly consists of Emma Frost, who isn’t an Avenger. The Sentry is dealt with in such a way that the continuity and gimmick of the character remain intact and it’s looking like one of Marvel’s most original (who was amusingly intentionally derivative) is going to be around for some time. Easily the most enjoyable thing I’m reading right now. A+ for the issue, A+ for the arc.

The Pulse #11 - Gaydos is back and all is well with the Pulse. Bendis and Gaydos reunited makes me bleed with happiness, since their run on Alias was one of the greatest comics I’ve read in some time. Jessica’s baby looks like it’s finally ready to be born and I haven’t ever cared about fictional children so much. Or non-fictional children. Humour, drama, it’s all in here. I’m starting to feel like Marvel should just rename themselves the Bendisverse, because once again I’m forced to deal out an A+ for something he’s written.

Truncated reviews:

Marvel Knights Spider-Man #18: Plot falls apart at final hurdle. Ridiculously trite “twist” ending. A promising arc left to decay somewhere around the second issue. That’ll teach me to try new material. This has only earned a repreieve from being dropped because I want to see what this Spider-Man “The Other” Crossover is like next month. C-.

Thunderbolts #12 - Didn’t care much for the purple man plot dynamics and the “maybe we haven’t been doing anything under our own will” uncertainty but it does seem to be over for now. The last page means that I’m keeping the faith, though, and I’m sure I’m coming back for something far better next month. C+.

TV and comics aside (comics update coming next..) I’ve done plenty.

Went back to Leam today and did a quick rush around visiting everyone. It was something of a whirlwind visit but it’s been weeks since I was last back home. The start of August, perhaps? It’s been a surprisingly hectic and socialised time for me, where my weekends have direction and there’s no chance for respite. And when there is, I want to spend it relaxing in my room because the following week I’ve got something else coming up. Even now many a social event looms. Is a misanthrope supposed to be this active?

Such questions are easily deflected though. On Friday I declined to queue to meet Chris Claremont at Forbidden Planet, since my plan was merely to shiv him and thus save X-Men from any further bad writing, and besides, people were already lining up for that purpose. I stopped into Fopp instead of rewarded myself for getting paid by buying the arcade fire album and EP, and then came home and paid off some of my computer purchases leaving me once again financially ruined for the month. And I’m technically only getting paid today (25th of every month) so it might be another month of bread and margerine. Just kidding. I am financially stable in ways that are previously unheard of for me. At this rate by next september I’ll have a mortgage and cocaine problem.

I have added another Tenerife update to my livejournal. One more to transcribe, then I’ll probably do one more to cover what those don’t. It’s a true rollercoaster ride of mediocrity.

On an unrelated note, does this title seem familiar? Besides Red Dwarf, I mean. I’m starting to get concerned that I’m re-using them. It’s hard enough to come up with something interesting or witty as it is. First person to spot a repeat gets to choose what I change the title of the offending double to. No cash alternative.

So many blog entries to write, so little time to do them. I’ve got a bunch of comics I want to write up, but since I’m pushed for time because of some programming, I’m going to do some TV stuff now, and comics and tenerife stuff tomorrow. Then I have something about food I keep meaning to write. It’s an observation on snackfoods that’s dying to be made. But just because I don’t like leaving huges gaps in writing:

Lost 2×01 - I won’t be spoilery because I know there are loads of people in the UK who are luddites that can’t download TV, but by christ, this was a good episode. I was kind of concerned about the season start because it was going to be hard to top the end of the series, which is really what it should be trying to do. I liked how the episode began with a shot of someone’s eye, echoing the pilot, and the inversion of the flashback format. It’s good when the writers get to the point where they can abuse the structure in such a way as to train you to expect one thing and then deliver something totally different. As one of the larger plot threads is wrapped up, it opens a whole new can of worms that appears to be providing a new dimension to the science/faith theme of the show. The main problem, if any exists, with the episode was that having wrapped up one aspect of the plot in the finale, the writers were left with trying to find a plausible reason that now the audience knows that a situation poses no danger, how do you find an in-character reason to move everyone along from that thread. They do it reasonably well, but it’s still a hurdle that slows things down a bit. I just got the DVDs of season 1, and Nikki watched an old episode earlier today which contained a piece of the puzzle which fits excellently with the one I just watched. It was almost a throwaway line at the time, but something Daniel says now makes a lot of sense if I’m drawing the correct conclusions. And that’s part of the fun of Lost. It’s criminal I have to actually WAIT for another episode.

Joey 2×01-2×02 - Okay, I wasn’t going to bother with this, but then I saw that Kevin Smith was guest starring. Fuck. Couldn’t pass it up, just on the basis of that. Then I discoved it was a sodding 2-parter. I was beginning to think I was being punished for something. Now, to its credit, this was actually pretty funny. Kevin Smith’s appearance is gratuitous and self-congratulatory, but then even his appearances in his OWN films are, so it’s not exactly unexpected. I’d say his appearance is the funniest thing in the episode, but I’m a bit biased. Now, there’s a new character played by Miguel A. Núñez Jr. (what a name..) who is a big contributing factor to the quality of this episode. He’s much funnier than the existing cast, and Michael, the whiny character, gets relegated almost into obscurity as a result of the cast expansion. Thank christ. I believe this new guy is recurring, so hopefully he’ll continue to provide humour - and come on, he was Dee Jay in the street fighter move! That has to be worth something. I’m actually quite interested in seeing if they’ve actually improved the show or whether it was just that they had an entire summer’s worth of jokes to use up. Interested enough that I’ll keep watching, for now. Joey’s last season was truly horrible television, but this two parter pounds any episode from last series into the ground. It’s treading a thin line, but it’s earned a second chance.

The Simpsons 17×01 - This season is going to be a real turning point for the Simpsons. It may well mark the point where there become more shit seasons than good ones, and that by extension will make phrases like “The simpsons is really good at its best, but most episodes are crap” start to have actual credibility. A dark day for television. As with Joey, this is actually not a terrible episode. It’s nowhere near the best, but it’s pushing the mediocre stuff. Unfortunately most of the humour comes from ground that’s really best left to things like Family Guy. Well-timed vomitting can be funny, but the simpsons should be able to do better than that given its pedigree, where Family Guy has built its reputation out of going too far. The basic plot (Marge leaves Homer to find herself) is actually verging on the original, since she leaves rather than kicks him out, and goes to “find herself” rescuing sea cows. Yes, that is as dumb as I’m making it sound. I’m concerned that the only reason I find this to be not unwatchable is that I’ve seen some really terrible stuff come out of the simpsons in recent years. At this point I’m only even bothering because I like being able to say how I’ve seen every episode of the simpsons. Of course, if this season does finally push it over the 50% shite margin, then it’ll actually be embarassing to say that. Hmm.

In summation:

You should be watching Lost.
Joey might be worth another try because of the new guy in it, or if you like Kevin Smith.
The Simpsons, at this point, is for masochists only.

As an aside, if you’re into Calvin and Hobbes, check in this SomethingAwful thread. I am struck by a mixture of blind rage and confusion. What the fuck is going on?! I’m now actually torn over buying the complete collection. Over 2 altered panels. Is this unreasonablel!? I forget the status of unregistered users and the forums, so if you can’t see that and want the full scoop let me know and I’ll be a bit less obscure in my explanation.

I’m a TV junkie, people. Or I used to be, before TV became obselete. These days I download almost everything I watch, Jonothan Ross being the single exception, and that’s only because Nikki and I have made a ritual out of setting time aside to watch it together. The problem is that I think US TV is generally getting shitter and more and more I’m having to turn towards fringe-network cartoons and imported anime to provide for my entertainment needs. I’m a junkie without the certainty of where my next fix is coming from, and this leads me blindly into watching rubbish sometimes, just because it was familiar rubbish.

With free time becoming a premium, I decided I wasn’t going to waste my precious hours watching stuff I didn’t like. I’d rather have Family Guy and Futurama DVDs entertaining me while I eat than a new episode of Joey doing its best to make me live the whole eating process in reverse. I wasted too many hours on last year’s thoroughly mediocre TV season, which saw Enterprise limp to an ending with only slight improvements, Stargate: Atlantis rehash the same tired old sci-fi staples, going so far as to rip off even its own parent show, and Joey, which is so terrible I can’t begin to describe the ways in which it sucks. And there’s always the exponential plummeting decline in the quality of the Simpsons to kick you when you’re down.

So I’ve jettisoned it all. Except maybe the Simpsons. However, I still want new stuff to watch, so I’m planning to try out a few new things now the new US TV season is gearing up, and when I do I’ll be sharing my views with the world in the needless verbose and unfocussed manner to which I am accustomed. And today is the first of those times.

This evening, I watched the first episode of “My Name is Earl.” I’ve been looking forward to this for some time because Jason lee, filthy scientologist that he is, makes for compelling viewing in just about everything he does. Mallrats almost entirely depends upon his on-screen charisma to make things work, and despite the obvious flaws in the plot, he pulls it together almost single handedly. His appearances in Almost Famous, while overshadowed by the inate credibility of those around him, would stand out head and shoulders in any other film. I’ve never seen “kissing a fool” but I’m willing to bet he pounds David “Ross” Schwimmer into the ground whenever they’re on screen together.

With that in mind, it’s fair to say I was expecting big things from Earl. Perhaps it was too much, I’m not certain just yet. I’ve seen a lot of publicity talking it up big as one of this season’s big sleeper hits, but I may have made a mistake by relying solely on newsaskew’s legendarily sycophantic take on things for that. They get the news out there like no-one else can, but someone needs to tell them it’s okay to criticise things sometimes.

So, er, that’s why I ended up watching it. And the natural question that makes me ask is, what do I think of it?

Well, it’s pretty good, I guess. It’s a comedy, but not a single-camera canned-laughter comedy like the usual American standard. The format is a lot like Spaced, actually, in how it’s got a cinematic gait with constant asides providing extra laughs. And no canned laughter, so you have to actually figure out on your own what’s supposed to be a joke.

I didn’t find it as funny as pre-release reviews seem to have suggested I might. The pacing of the episode was a little rough, but I place the blame on having to introduce and execute the initial concept in 25 minutes. Future episodes, I expect will have a little less packed into them which should give better time for a plot to breathe. I think I laughed out loud about six or seven times, and that’s how I base how funny I found something. American Dad the other day got easily twice that, where last season the very best episodes of Joey got two out of me. Lee’s acting is up to his usual standard, and the supporting characters are complementing things well. Part of the humour for the show is drawn from how everyone’s a pathetic redneck, which certainly makes a change from laughing at the twentysomething middle-classes.

The music in the episode is really great. It’s almost too great, in fact, because I was sitting there going “ooh, Jane’s Addiction. Hey, that’s Beck. Again!” instead of concentrating on the action. It’s probably a cheap attempt at making it seem a little cooler than it is, shoving in a bunch of MTV’s most popular, but then it’s also a nice change from the cheap ass music cues it could’ve been stuck with. One of my other favourite ever programmes, Daria, was utterly packed with indie & rock classics, so I don’t expect it’ll prove too problematic in the long run.
Conceptually, Earl’s plot as established lends itself to an extremely formulaic structure. I despise programs that stick to a formula in a rigid fashion (Sliders and Quantum Leap screwed me up on that concept for life) so how much I keep enjoying Earl in the long run will partially depend on what they do with the formula and how much they play with it. Right now, it’s only developed so far as establishing the basic rules, so I expect it’ll stick to them for quite a while yet. It’s not a particularly bad formula, of course, it’s just that any formula is instantly worse than freeform episode-specific narrative.

Anyway, not a bad start, all things considered. It’s got me back for now, which would probably delight the people making it, if only I contributed to their advertising viewer base as well. The best programmes are those that improve once the ground rules are established and the writing has found its feet - Futurama improves dramatically after its first 6 episodes - and the worst programmes are those that exhaust their best jokes after roughly the same amount of time - Amazing to remember that I actually thought Joey’s first two episodes were a little better than Friends was when it finished. The big question will be which direction Earl goes.

I have put the first of my tenerife updates behind a friends filter on my livejournal. It’s not a very interesting one (the next couple get a bit more ranty) but I’ve had some hassle about getting my paper journal entries onto the internets, so now you can all go have a look. If you’ve got a livejournal. And are on my friends list. But hey, livejournals are free, and it you want to be on my friends list, let me know.

I’ve taken the day off today as part of a post-tenerife recovery plan that involves going home on sunday as well. Going almost directly back from tenerife to work left me confused and tired, and hopefully not making a mistake like one co-worker which may have cost the company £50,000. Later today I’m hoping to do a slightly bigger update.

So anyway, as you may have guessed from the previous bout of irreverance, I’m back on this sceptered isle. I’ve got much to say about all the stuff I did in Tenerife, but I’m not entirely sure how much of it would be prudent to leave in a publically accessible place. I kept a paper journal in absence of a blog so I might just transcribe that on my livejournal, so if you want to see if you’ll have to get yourself a livejournal account and add me as a friend (channelzero) and you should get to see the stuff appear over the next day or two when I get around to writing it all up. Suffice to say it was everything I expected it’d be, except the food which was awful by anyone’s standards, let alone mine.

Some things don’t really pertain to the conference itself, and thus are exempt from discretion. Things such as…

Flying: I haven’t done it for many years, and I didn’t really remember it from then. This time I was in a perfect position to watch it all go on, and excuse me if I’m being filled with child-like wonder at the prospect, but it was astonishingly cool. During take off I was looking out the window and when we left the ground I had a strange sense of vertigo and mild panic because the impression I got was that we were falling up. A strange sensation indeed. I discovered that clouds look way better from above than below, and that at night when you look down over the sea, it looks like the sky has inverted because the clouds are black and the sea is silver. Then, when you get over land, it’s black again and covered in tiny stars, which are in fact small houses and cities. Coming in to land from the south I was able to identify a few coastal cities as well as some of the area around Gatwick.

Playa De Las Americas: AVOID. At all costs. This place is a real shithole. I’m sure to be repeating myself later in the transcriptions, but this resort is just the most desolate place I have ever visited. It is utterly devoid of culture and taste. There exists no tree, nor rock, nor overpriced counterfeit electronics shop that has not been placed specifically to extract money from gullible morons. It’s an utter sludge of conflicting architectural styles. One cannot say, having visted this anal breach of a location, that they have visited another country. It’s no more spain than it is Britain; it’s a glimpse of what life would be like if it consisted solely of tourism. I could wax prosaic for hours about what a pointless place it is, but I’ll spare you any more.

I’ve probably got more material than that but I’m still not thinking very straight. I’ve got work later today and sleep is sounding like a good idea. At some point I’ll grab what little pictures I took off my phone, that you might all experience the culture shock of yellow postboxes yourselves.

Saw this on Rachel’s Livejournal while catching up with the internet. Did the test. Couldn’t not post the results after a score like this:

I taste of Death. Doesn’t everyone want a taste of death? Well they should. Most people deserve death. Keep away from me unless you think you’re better than that. I probably won’t like you. What Flavour Are You?

So, tomorrow I’m off to Tenerife with work. Should be back on Sunday, and by god you can bet I’m going to have stories to tell.

I’ve tooled up the minidiscs with pixies, arcade fire, ben folds, gorillaz, beck and radiohead. I’ve got a new comics anthology (with new mahfood) a collection of old X-Men comics, and copies of Fear and Loathing and 20,000 leagues under the sea. I think I might just survive this intact.

If you want to text me (and believe me, I’ll appreciate the human contact) then I’ve got both my mobiles, though I’d recommend using the newer number if you’ve got it. It also costs 50p for me to reply so I might not be too chatty. Text me your address and I promise I’ll send a postcard. Or a piece of card. Your choice.