Diary of an up and coming sociopath

Today after work, Ian, Al and I went to see the Hitchhiker’s Guide movie. It was always going to be a difficult prospect, translating such a work onto the big screen. I was determined to go into it with an open mind. I wasn’t expecting an adaptation of my favourite version, like some people seemed to be. I wasn’t trying to tear it down based on the choice of actor. I wasn’t going to be the wanker sitting there going ‘It’s not as good as the books!’

Ultimately, this foolishly level-headed approach brought me only the bitter stench of defeat. For with all my optimism about how great a film it could be, I wasn’t expecting anything as bad as what I finally saw.

I spent ages defending this film both on and off the internet, telling people not to judge it until they’ve seen the damn thing, and to judge it as a seperate entity from the book or radio or TV. Well, I’ve seen it. I’ve judged it. The jury of one is in, and the verdict is unanimous: Craptacular.

The pacing was horrible. For teh whole film. It was like there was some mandate where the director was told not to let any breathing room into any scene. At times it seemed that no-one was allowed to finish a thought or sentence without being knocked to the ground, or having someone interrupt. The plot, such that it was, careened along without daring to take a second to look inwards upon itself. That’s probably why about 50% of the whole film goes utterly, utterly unresolved. I konw it’s hardly the first time a hitch-hiker’s installment has gone without total closure, but you’d think for a movie, they’d try to keep it all self-contained. it wouldn’t be hafl as bad if the major unresolved plots weren’t ones they introduced solely FOR the movie.

Strike One: Horrible direction and pacing.

Next, it has to be said, I found the acting sub-par. First of all, there’s Marvin. It’s bad enough having to imagine Warwick Davis under that suit, but giving him Alan Rickman’s voice ultimately worked against him. Without having any discernable mouth on the robot meaning a lack of animation related to speech, I couldn’t get past Rickman’s voice. The whole time, it was just ‘hey, Alan Rickman!’ A slight vocal filter would’ve probably done the trick, but instead I was snapped out of the immersion zone every time a Marvin line was delivered.

Then there’s Ford. I didn’t like the TV Ford at all, but I have new appreciation after seeing Mos Def in the role. I thought it was incredibly stupid of people to go around saying stuff like “wah, wah, Ford isn’t black.” because it’s not remotely integral to the character, what skin colour he is. If Mos Def was hired to play Hitler, then those people might have a case, but Ford himself can be any creed or colour, as long as the character is right. To be fair, there were glimmers of that. Something I never got in the TV series was just why Ford cared about Arthur at all anyway, he seemed to bring him along jsut so he could get exasperated with him. I didn’t get a sense of friendship between them. That’ almost comes across in some scenes here. However, any good character moments are far outweighed by the number of times Mos Def fluffs a joke with a mumbed delivery. Say it with me: E-NUN-CI-ATE!

Zaphod looked quite good (despite the Chad Kroeger similarities) but character wise, he lacked the charisma I’d expect from a man who tricked his way to the top of the galaxy. The second head was hideously manic, and the former merely nonlinear. I konw the character should contain both of those qualities, but playing him almost as a victim of his own second head made him seem a little too far out of control of himself. If they’d gone somewhere with it, fair enough, but I can’t figure out why it was done. He spends the second half of the film in what appears to be an almost lobotomised state.

Trillian was probably the best of the main cast, in the film. She’s never been an especially well-defined character, and I’d say the movie’s high point was giving her some actual role in the plot. However, making her the love interest in a very specific sense, and worse, in a reciprocal sense, was probably the single /worst/ thing about the film. I’ll never recover from seeing Arthur and Trillian kiss at the end. Fair enough, versions don’t remain consistent, but that’s a change that I can’t see any sense in.

Lastly, there’s Arthur. Martin Freeman managed what would’ve taken lesser men years of work. He managed to make Arthur act less like a slightly clueless guy trying to catch up with everyone after his world is turned upside down, and more like a complete petty jerk trying to one-up everyone else in front of Trillian. There’s a brief portion of the film where he takes control, where he seems more like the slightly better natured arthur of the books, but it’s over quite fast. This is why I don’t like the Trillian love interest plot, though. Before he just a passenger on a ride he never asked for. 10 minutes into this film and it starts to seem like he’s basically chasing pussy across the universe.

Strike Two: Bad casting.

Hich-hiker is best known for being uproarously funny. I mean, it’s probably one of the funniest books I’ve ever read. It’s had me weeping with laughter on multiple occasions. The other versions all have their own humour, and in every one it’s great. The film, however, goes with its own identity. Apparantly it derives its humour from blowing punchlines and inserting action scenes inappropriately. Stuff they took from the book was under-explained, the greatest jokes reduced to rubble in the wake of the bad pacing I mentioned. Some of the best jokes were pushed into the background, others truncated, it was a total hack job. The punchline for the bulldozer/planning permission joke is reduced to merely, “It was in the basement.” UTTER. BULLSHIT. That joke does not become funny until you get to “Beware of the leopard,” nor does it become truly gold until you get to “The lights were gone.” “So were the stairs.” This is an example of how to ripp off existing jokes, and not do it correctly.

Remember “Zaphod…he’s just this guy, y’know?” Well, not if you weren’t listening hard enough, because that’s almost audible in the background of another scene. And what makes it funny? The way it’s repeated. Except in the film, it happens once only. I can think of one original joke from the film which was funny, and that was the “He’s locked the gate from the other side! We’ll have to go around!” thing. They get bonus points for doing a half decent translation of the plumetting whale’s monologue, though. The guide itself was a source of much of the book’s humour, but again, the jokes come from asides in those entries. When you cut out the jokes about Space being vast from the books, you’re left with statistics, which aren’t funny. When you cut out the bit about god disappearing in a puff of logic fomr the babelfish entry, you’re left with exposition, which isn’t funny. The guide is quite literally a plot device, which you barely even see in the film!

Visually, the guide entries are pretty good, though. They remind me of iPod adverts, but they’re still good. Quite a pleasure to watch, and complementing the narration with visual comedy. It’s a shame they cut out so many of them. Quite how anyone was supposed to understand the obsession with towels without sufficient exposition, I’ll never know. If you’re going to use it to infodump the audience, surely you should do it for the especially obscure stuff?

Strike Three: Bad Jokes, badly forced

The special effects are pretty much what you can expect from a high budget film. They were almost all quite nice, except for one or two points. My big problem was the destruction of earth, which looked like they’d just faded the planet to black and overlayed a tiny firecracker going off. When the BBC can do a better rendition of Earth exploding on Dr. Who’s budget, you know that maybe more attention should’ve been paid. In fact, the even their own teaser trailer had a better version of it. The effects for the planet-building were great, it has to be said. That entire scene was probably the apex of the flim, it’s the only time I felt the emotional, visual and comedic weight of the film came across in full force. The character design for the Vogons was almost exactly how I’d always pictured them, and the design of Deep Thought was probably my favourite in the film. Reminds me of a Dali painting, though I get the feeling it’s a reference to a specific artist and I forget who.

I wanted to like this film, I really did. I can honestly say if I never saw it again, I wouldn’t be even slightly bothered. It is a pale imitation of what it should’ve been. I’m deeply cynical about the whole affair, and I can’t stop the nagging doubt that says that (and please, prepare for a statement made in the worst possible taste here) it wouldn’t have been like this if Adams were alive. I know it’s a ridiculous and callous suggestion, and I know we can’t know what his intentions were, but please, it’s the only explanation I can find to make me feel better, that idiots ruined what could’ve been a masterpiece with the right man behind it all.

It occurs to me that at some point during watching the film and writing this review/dismemberment of it, I repressed the most awful intro sequence ever. I knew things were bad when I watched dolphins jumping around to musical theatre for the first 5 minutes of the film. Ugh.

So that’s it. Rest assured that afterwards, I was chomping at the bit to get on the internet and register my disgust. By all means, go forth and watch it. Waste your hard earned money as I have done mine. Just, when you get back and come crying to me about how you feel like your good memory of the Guide has been raped, you’ll only hear what I leave as my parting words:

I told you it sucks.

Today was the big day for comics purchasing. Finally, I get to go buy them by way of walking 2 minute up the road. Sheer excellence.

Some capsule reviews for the uninterested masses. I forgot I was going to do these, and next week there aren’t even any out, so don’t get too interested. As luck would have it, the last time I did this contained AOA #5, and Phonix #4, so if you want to see what it was like last issue, go right ahead! Otherwise, read on:

Daredevil #72: Decalogue, Part 2 - It’s hard to know what to say about this. it’s a good character piece, but it’s a good character piece for a character we’ve not really met before, and likely won’t again. In it, the son of a criminal put in jail by Daredevil gets in over his head while attempting to continue his father’s work, but overcomes adversity to triumph. Et cetera. It’s formulaic, but the characters are written believably enough that it doesn’t seem clichéd, it just leaves me wondering how this is going to tie in later on. He did blow up a bar full of criminals, that’s quite morally ambigious as it is, but the format of this story leaves me uncertain that there’ll be any resolution to that specific plot. Everyone’s morally ambiguous as it is. I’m a big fan of his, but i’m consisteingly being left with the impression that Bendis hasn’t been firing on all cylinders for some time. I’m pretty sure this is the penultimate arc for what’s been a great run, but it’s tailing off right now and it’s probably best to leave before it turns to crap. It’d be nice to see a bit more of Daredevil’s direct influence on these characters, though. Maleev’s art is superb as always. B-.

Age of Apocalypse #6 - I dunno. It could’ve, nay, should’ve been so excellent. To say nothing of the contiuity problem’s it’s utterly riddled with (AOA psylocke turning up, as a purple-haired ninja being the big “WHA?!” moment) the plot’s gone nowhere and to end it with Phoenix is just…I want to suggest it’s gratuitouly raiding the success of some recent, much better comics, btu then that’s what the entire series has been ABOUT, so it’s hard to criticise it for this so far into the game. I’m just glad it’s over before it got too bad. I loved the original AOA, and this is but a pale imitation. The world here barely resembles to world of the original. Gah. And so many characters were wiped out by fucking CLOAK of all people. Yes, Cloak. Ugh. Akira Yoshida took a good stab at it, the problem seems to be that he just hasn’t read the originals. Or possibly he did, but didn’t really understand them. Chris Bachalo’s art is either a dynamic design-based narrative, or a complete visual mess depending on what mood I’m in at any given time. He used to be way more coherant that this, but this issue is definitely at the “decipherable” end of his range, unlike some previous issues in this series. C-. Avoids a D only because of the art. I’ll give this the Turkey of the week award, which I just invented for horrible comics such as this.

New Avengers #5: Breakout, Part 5 - This is Bendis getting things much better. Finch does a great Wolverine cover, and I’m feeling that the entire premise of the book, “The New Avengers in the Savage Land” is so stupid that it’s a real affirmation of the writing talent that it works, and even more so, manages to be funny. Spider-Man was never this funny in his own book. I’m not a big fan of the artwork, but I’m not sure if I don’t like Finch’s artwork, or if it’s the dark colouring, or what, but it’s not hitting any of the right notes. Some damn messy panel layouts too. When someone who’s been reading comics as much as I have has to strugle to figure out what direction the panels are supposed to flow in (and this coming from someone who has no trouble reading manga, where you literally do it all backwards) then you know there’s been a breakdown in storytelling somewhere. It looks like Finch has just drawn the panels inside a Mondrian piece. B+. I feel like I should score it higher, but my gut is telling me this isin’t quite an A. Maybe next issue.

Phoenix: Endsong #5 - See, this is the business. I could do with 4 comics like this each month. The whole series has been the utter pinnacle of X-Men writing - action-packed, character-based plots that draw on the past while heading towards the future. Give this team (Greg Pak, Greg Land, Matt Ryan) a regular X-Men gig, for god’s sake. I want to see what they can do with the other X-Men characters. This is like the unofficial bridging series between Grant Morrison’s New X-Men, Joss Whedon’s Astonishing X-Men, and every Phoenix arc ever written. I cannot praise it highly enough for the respect it gives the original works. If you’re reading this review, and you’re reading X-Men comics, then you need to read Phoenix: Endsong. It’s just that simple. It’s a comic so good, with art so stunning that I actually found myself wanting to buy the second printings for the variant covers, and that’s the kind of crap I never do. Take note, Akira Yoshida, this is what a story looks like when the author has tried reading the work he’s sequelising. Some real great moments, too. Quentin’s rejection is hilarious. I’ll even forgive the “Care Bear” ending where everyone joins together to display their love for Jean on the grounds that it’s not a lame plot point (Harry Potter, I’m looking at you) but more of a send-off that they never got to give to her the first (er, most recent) time she died.A+. A+++. A++++ would deal with again.

In other news, after buying comics at lunchtime we went and got a sandwich. I had beef. It was rare done. As in, red. I hope intentionally so, else I’m currently nursing the mother of all food poisonings. It wasn’t that bad, but I certainly prefer my cow meat to be cooked, or at the very least, fully dead before I eat it. The quest for a new sandwich distributing outlet will continue.

Today marked the first day at Shaftesbury avenue. It all went surprisingly smoothly. We got in early and received our employee badges, found our desks and, give or take some france-related backoffice downtime, I was able to get to work almost straight away. I partook of the free drinks machine and marvelled at the fridgeful of Coke they keep for people. I’m not sure whether to be disgusted by the coporate whoredom, or to enjoy it because I’m the one benefitting. I believe I’ll learn to live with it, however. Not least because, in theory, there’s nothing to stop me filling my bag up with cans of coke and leaving. Nothing but the watchful eyes of others.

At lunchtime we had a brief wander around and went to the tesco metro just off Oxford street. There’s a lot of exploring needs to be done. A source of muffins needs to be found, as does a source of decent sandwiches, and a source of chocolate snacks. Drinks is covered by the gratuity at work, and we haven’t even considered the canteen properly yet. If decent, this could revolutionise the eating of dinner, because I know I only need one (cooked) meal a day. Hello extra free time in the evening, perhaps. We’re also hideously close to the Montague Pyke, which is a lloyds no. 1 bar and thus full of excellent and cheap food. It’s quite criminal to place us so near to it.

Almost as criminal, that is, as how close we are to Fopp and Forbidden Planet. I have no idea how I’m supposed to hang onto my pay in this kind of environment. We haven’t been to either yet, but that’s because I want to savour the first time it takes me a three minute walk to buy comics. This Thursday. Buying comics at lunchtime without involving an olympic style steeplechase across the city. I keep moving closer to comic shops. The first one was in Stratford and used to 20 minutes in the car to get to. The next was a 10 minute walk up the road, in Oxford. Now i’m less than 5 minutes away from one in my lunchbreak. The only way I could find a more convenient course of comics would be if I were to live in a comic shop. I half suspect that’ll be next.

So, it’s all done. London Bridge is but a memory. And here’s the memoranda:

Excuse the reflection in a couple of these, you can quite easily see what t-shirt I was wearing in at least one. The curse of trying to photograph through a window, I guess. The filenames reveal a bit about what you can see, but in there is (a tiny view of) Big Ben, the London Eye, Southwark Cathedral, St. Paul’s cathedral, Tower Bridge, the Tower of London, London Bridge and that “gherkin” building everyone’s on about all the time. The current view isn’t nearl so full of landmarks, but if you find the really tall building (centre point) in the” far right of the second photo, or the far left of the third, that’s where we are now. The views aren’t so inspiring as this, but the location is far better. Looking at the Tower Bridge photo, you can probably see why I found the crash in that episode of Dr. Who the other week extra cool. Enjoy.

Today marked the big crunch. Kelkoo packed up shop and relocated to Yahoo! Central. Or at least, began the process which will actually take most of the weekend. From now on, I’ll no longer be working at 1, London Bridge (SE1) but at 125 Shaftesbury Avenue (WC2) which, as you can see, has a far more fashionable postcode. Kelkoo towers, as Ian and I nicknamed it, is history.

Setting off toway, I was acutely conscious that this was the final time I’d be making the journey. No longer would I take the Picadilly line from Northfields, speed-walk down a long tunnel at Green Park, and then join the businessmen of the Jubilee line to London Bridge in a journey that totals about an hour, door to door. From Monday, it’s Picadilly line all the way to the far closerLeicester Square, and accounting for the difference in travel time, potentially an extra 45 minutes of free time a day. At the time I didn’t realise, but I’d already done the last iteration of that trip yesterday, for todaya mysterious and vague sounding “loss of traction current” at Canada Water meant running to the District line at Westminister (a sub-journey that invovles going through some kind of four-dimensional escalator room that is worth visiting the station for itself..) taking the tube to bank/monument, and then the northern line to london bridge. Our final day at work in that office, and the public transport system managed to make us 15 minutes late. Most embarassing, since we all got to leave at 2pm anyway, so it might’ve appeared not unlike skiving the morning to reduce time at work. Ah well.

It’s not like there was much work to do, of course. Many of the systems were already packed up, and at any rate the final part of the day was spent packing up our individual terminals, labelling everything, and getting forms signed for our new employee badges. Ian and I also ran around taking photos of the view from the office, because it’s unlikely that we’ll get such a good look at the city for some time, at any job. In fact, it seems that the only downside to moving to Yahoo! is that our panoramic cityscape view is replaced by, er, the side of the odeon cinema. Ah well. I’ll be sharing some of those photos once I can conspire with Ian to choose the best of the ones we took. There is a big list of good reasons about moving to Yahoo! but I figure I should deal with those on the day, not least because then I can at least find out what’s hearsay and what’s truth.

Having finished at work some 3 hours early, we went to Forbidden Planet to buy comics. While the comics I got were adequate, the real star purchase for the day was Volume 1 of the Genshiken manga. It’s been a mere 6 weeks since we finished watching the anime, but it feels like forever sometimes. I read the first two chapters on the Tube going home and it’s bringing back all sorts of memories. Now I have to wait 8 weeks for the next book. One day at a time.

All this politicism has seen me neglect to chronicle the intricacies of my day to day existance. This week is typified by repeatedly checking eBay to see if I can snipe an arcade fire ticket for an acceptable amount of money. All signs point to “buggered” on that front, though.

Josh gave me The Arcade Fire’s EP the other day. It reminds me quite a lot of The Liars’ first album (before they went a bit dodgy) in some ways. I’m not sure if its the lo-fi nature of it or what, but with both of them, I enjoy listening to the sound as much as the songs, if you understand what I mean by that. On the other side of the coin, though, is the new eels album, Blinking Lights and Other Revelations, which is all about the songs, but equally violating my puny world at the moment. After the yawn-fest of Shootenanny, it’s good to see eels back with what I’d easily rank as their single strongest album. Can you have a single strongest double album? Close enough for me.

Given that it’s currently wednesday, and the last time I mentioned anytihng about what I was doing was, like, two weeks ago, I thought I’d also see if I can remember what i’ve been doing without the help of a blog. Thus, we have the digest version of my life, in reverse order. prepare thysef for a Memento-esque perspective on my week:

Wednesday: Overslept in the morning. Seems to happen about once every two weeks. I only realised I was doing it when I realised I was having a dream after I’d switched my alarms off. It was, strangely, a sequel to an earlier dream. The morning flew by in a kind of post-sleep haze that one associates with being up and out the door in about 3 minutes flat. We had the Q2 meeting in the afternoon. Meetings are a surprisingly fun way to spend 40 minutes of time, like a lecture that you get paid for, and talk that you’re interested in. I found myself impressed by the technology that has been implemented over the past few months. I’m concerned about turning into a work-geek, because it’s an incredibly boring thing to be, so I won’t go on about it much, but I was way more entertained by this than stuff I did at Uni.

Tuesday: I recall it being all quite routine. At lunchtime I bought some envelopes to send off some of the comics I’ve been selling in.

Monday: Went to the sandwich shop up the road at Lunch (Jade’s, or something.) It’s a real comedy place. It’s run by an old guy and a younger guy, probably his son, both of eastern-european descent. I suspect they’re turkish, but it could quite easily be gryzbekistania or sometihng. The first time we went, the waitress (who is in her earlier twenties) was wearing an eyepatch. That place really has character. They make turkey and beef sandwiches where they actually cut the meat from a joint. It’s a great place to get food and it’s easily something I’ll miss when we move up to Shaftesbury.

Sunday: Had dinner at Nan’s and went to Dad’s. I drove back to London in the evening and listened, as I often do, to XFM. Well, first I listen to Rock Legends (I think) on Kerrang, which is quite bad. Unless you like 80s metal. Sometime around the point where the M40 and A34 cross I can start picking up XFM again, so I spend the rest of the trip listening to The Remix (playlists here), which I initially didn’t like much, not being a fan of dance music. I left it on because I didn’t really have much of an alternative, and week after week I’ve found myself becoming quite interested in what they play. This week there were some excellent remixes, including one of an Athlete song (Half Light, the Losers remix) which I actually liked where I dislike the original. There was also an amusing mash-up of “Freakin’ Out” and “Heaven is a place on Earth” which can be procured from http://www.team9.net. I was also shocked to discover that Brian Molko does vocals on a new Timo Maas track, which as a Placebo completist, means I’ll probably have to get it. I spent Sunday morning sorting out all my comics at home, and then brought them back with me with the intention of flogging a few and rediscovering the ones I had to leave behind at Uni. It’s been almost 4 years since my entire collection was in one place.

Saturday: Nikki and I went to Coventry. Coentry’s kind of like a human factory for Chavs. One thing that struck me when I walked around was just how ugly all the people there are. I’m not talking “people riding the tube” ugly, this is a whole different kind of horrendous. I suspect that I’m being confused by the abundance of europeans in London, with their clean fingernails and brushed hair. Part of what concerns me so much is that the place I find the most hideous people (the tube, and Coventry) are both places where I often find myself. There’s a logical conclusion there which I suggest we all neglect to draw. I bought comics, naturally, and a couple of issues of a magazine called “Lo Fi” because the covers had teh words “Brian Wood” and “Mahfood” on. I am a chump. I’d buy dogfood if Brian Wood or Jim Mahfood were involved. I had a beef roll from a local purveyor of meat sandwiches, and Nikki had pork. They were some good foodstuffs, it is fair to say.

Friday: This is where it all starts breaking down. In the evening I drove back to Leamington, and as ever, watched Jonothan Ross with Nikki. Prior to that, I guess I was at work. I’m not too hot on the details. I think the backoffice might’ve been down a lot, because it was this week.

Monday-Thursday: And here we hit what I shall dub “The Fog.” I have no memory of last thursday. Even less so, since I rebooted my PC and lost my IRC buffer. I am unable to tell you anything about my life between Monday and Thursday. I suspect I was at work, because no-one’s asked why I wasn’t, but for the rest of the time I may well have been out fighting crime as the Masked Amnesiac. If you saw me, if you know where I am or what I did, please, call our hotline.

Hmm. Did Memento have a twist ending? I don’t think I ever bothered getting to the end because the gimmick bored me somewhat. I’m a fan of the “IT WAS EARTH ALL ALONG!” twist from Planet of the Apes, so let’s go with that one. Ergo, I shall deploy my vast knowledge of the simpsons:

Sunday: Wait a minute… Statue of liberty… THAT WAS OUR PLANET! YOU MANIACS! YOU BLEW IT UP! DAMN YOU! DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL!

[falls to knees and pounds the floor]

Continuing the election-themed updates, here’s a link to Not Apathetic, a community blog for people who don’t intend to vote in the next general election, and a place for them to give their reasons why. Especially telling is the way someone titles their entry “Sick and tired of being patronised.” because that’s exactly how I feel any time anyone suggests that people who aren’t voting simply don’t care about politics. Bullshit. If it’s anything like my position, it’s just that people can’t bring themselves to vote for any of the major parties, and know that even if they did they’d just get ignored for the next few years anyone. I’m not interested in propping up a political system that I don’t have any faith in by participating in it. I think I’ll have to make a post over there, actually.

Some interesting BBC links related to the election:

Is anyone interested in the election? - An article by Andrew Marr about voter apathy. There’s not much to it, besides an extended metaphor, but it’s worth a quick read. At least it’s pretty much in tune with the general public. Turnout from the last election was only 59%. It’ll be interesting to see if there’s a higher turnout after such a polarising term for the government, but then, I wouldn’t be the slightest bit surprised if it dropped again.

Non-voters get their own cartoon. - Very interesting to see, because it means that someone is actually acknowledging that the non-voting does actually have political opinions. A common misconception is that voter apathy equals political apathy. You’d be hard pressed to find anyone with a vote who doesn’t have an opinion on the government, but you’d slightly more trouble finding people who necessarily want to use their vote to support any of the current parties.

Finally, a useful policy comparison grid. I’ve set it to Labour, Lib Dem and Green Party, because to be fair I don’t see how anyone could bring themselves to vote Conservative without admitting that they’re completely racist. Quotas on REFUGEES for christ sake, not just your standard immigrants. Despicable. Still, all this should give you a good feel for the policies, and they even have each party’s menifesto in PDF format. So there’s no excuse for not deciding informedly who to vote for (if, indeed, you choose to vote for anyone.)

An interesting result. I removed the “Your expected result” thing because, to be fair, I didn’t have a clue, though I chose Conservative because of my economic stance. Quite interesting, then, that I ended up with Green Party. I didn’t even weight it, because while I could clearly see which policy related to which party, I didn’t let that influence my vote (I was scoffing at the conservative policies well before I fully registered who they came from…) Not too sure where that UKIP thing came from. My vague dislike of the European Union, I guess. Still, i think everyone should take this test just for the interest factor. If nothing else it’ll give you an idea of how your views relate to the main policies of each party, and give you a point for how to investigate futher.

Your expected outcome:

Conservative

Your actual outcome:

Labour -20
Conservative -27
	Liberal Democrat 44
	UK Independence Party 5
	Green 71

You should vote: Green

The Green Party, which is of course strong on environmental issues, takes a strong position on welfare issues, but was firmly against the war in Iraq. Other key concerns are cannabis, where the party takes a liberal line, and foxhunting, which unsurprisingly the Greens are firmly against.

Take the test at Who Should You Vote For

Interestingly, I voted for making cannabis class B again (yes, yes, I’m an authoritarian cunt) and neutrally on fox hunting, both of which are apparantly strong issues for these guys. I suspect it’s my stance on welfare that pushed them up high, but even so, my more right wing choices on taxation didn’t reign them in much.

Because he said it better than I could:

[johnj] The horror of modern life just shouts “VOTE GREEN” at me.

I’ve come to think, over the last few days, that no major party is worth voting for, and that if I actually come to vote, Green is the only party I could morally stand to support. I’m still a big supporter of voter apathy, though, so who knows at this point. I’d like to again urge people not to vote for the Lib Dems without reading their policies, because I’m utterly terrified that we’ll end up with a bunch of communists in power by default. Vote informedly or not at all.

Finally, to end this brief entry, a link to an excellent film I remember watching some months ago on a channel 4 film night which I recently discovered online. It’s called Procter, and it’s an existentialist short about a man who finds a videotape showing someone’s final day alive.

For this experiment, you need:
- Realplayer.
- 20 Minutes.
- A willingness to watch independant film.

Here it is. Procter.

Today I made some headway with a new template/theme for the blog. If I can actually bring myself to code after work, I might even get it finished before the weekend. No promises though. However, if you’re lucky enough, you might stumble across this place at one of the rare times I’m working on it, and due to the nature of the theme system, it has to be enabled in order for me to test it, so keep a look out. In fact, while I’m on the subject, if you’re viewing this page in 800×600, let me know, because despite my reservations I may have to abandon support for resolutions lower than that because which there are ways to make it work, I’m not so sure it’s worth the sacrifice. There’ll be a text version for all you tiny-monitored freaks if you’re that bothered, anyway.

In other news, I am unable to think of a single thing I did on Saturday. Success. It’s been a quiet week actually, besides vince being off work still due to some mumps-related infestation. Luckily I had it when I was younger and thus am superimmune to it. This leaves me in the position of handling requests that would normally go to him, though, which if nothing else means I’m getting to send more e-mails, which I like doing because it’s a legitimate way to relax my brain without appearing to be slacking off. I’ve also been asked to help out a little with the IT support when we move to Shaftesbury Avenue in 2 weeks, which will give me even more ways to add variety to the day.

Actually, I do remember atching Dr. Who on Saturday. it’s turning out to be quite a decent show, though I admit I think it’ll be a hard sell for me next series once Eccleston leaves the cast, because half the joy of watching the program is his acting. I’m definitely looking forward to next week’s episode, mainly because it involves UFOs crashing into bits of London that practically look out over every day of the week. Does that make me soundlike a terrorist?

So anyway, this was more of a token update just so I didn’t start leaving pointlessly huge gaps. Should I come back to this in 10 years, I’d rather have an entry saying I did nothing, than have to just assume that from the lack of stuff written.

edit: Actually, I am indulging in some comic-based market speculation. Having just bought the graphic novel which contains this comic collected, I placed it on eBay. It’s already paying for Volume 3 of Azumanga Daioh. Another triumph for the capitalist machine!