Diary of an up and coming sociopath

When we moved into this house, we noticed a large tree outside. It towered above all others in the area and when looking out of my window, it filled a significant portion of the view. It looked quite nice, didn’t block too much light and otherwise obscured the view between this house and those opposite, providing a slice of nature to the suburban surroundings. Imagine, then, our surprise, when yesterday morning we were awoken by some guy hammering on the door requesting that I move my car so that they could cut the branches off the aforementioned tree. It was enough of a burden, trying to drive a car half a minute after being woken up, but that was left unreleived by the constant chainsawing that the next few hours involved. It was, in fact, second only to the chainsawing that awoke me this morning as they cut down the branchless pilar of trunk which had been left, toppling it into the road less than 2 metres away from the car which I had moved the day before. We now have a less tham impressive looking tree stump outside our house, and we’re all quite put out by the fact that we didn’t really get much say in this.

However, despite the defoliating, dual victories beseiged me over the last day or two when, yesterday evening, the internet connection became active 2 days early. Joy and elation spread throughout the house as Ian and I set up all the computers to access the extra-glorious 2 Megabit connection. The process of job searching has became mercifully faster.

No sooner had the felled tree been hauled away than an Argos lorry turnedup outside, and delivered me my new bed, flat packed, though ‘flat’ is some exaggeration. The Argos delivery surgeon mentioned that he used to be a tree surgeon himself, and tol dus how the guys who did the tree surgery left a horrible mess which was unprofessional, and we were inclined to agree with his assessment, since it left most of our front garden covered in sawdust. The next couple of ours were spent assembling the bed, though it mainly involved screwing in hundreds of tiny screws until your arm, hands and wrists ached quite badly. Despite our combined lack of DIY knowledge, Ian and I proved ourselves quite capable of following instructions and produced, from assorted wood, one bed, fit for use and being tested personally, by me, later tonight. It doesn’t appear that it’ll fall apart anytime soon, at least, which is the best I could’ve hoped for, and I’m left with the extra storage space I so desired now that the divan-style bed is gone.

Tomorrow the fortune should continue, as we are due one cooker to arrive. In theory, this will let us actually do some cooking, rather than merely burn the food in a filthy and dented cooker. In theory…