Diary of an up and coming sociopath

I took a brief hiatus the last few days, because, well, it’s all a bit uneventful here in Leamington. That, and I made a silent resolution to try and be a little less utterly pointless with what I update with. I even bore myself sometimes.

That said…

Yesterday, I took Nikki to Stratford where she took and passed her Driving Theory test. We sat in the car revising for it shortly before, and one of the questions we did came up when she was in the exam, and therefore it’s all down to me that she passed. Me. ME. She got 34/35, which she claims makes her smarter than me. It’s clearly bunkum, though, because if I’d done my theory test when I was 21, I’d probably have got that amount too. Damn technicalities. I admit, though, she is smarter now than I was 4 years ago. There is also the small matter of the hazard perception thing, which I didn’t have to do, back in the simpler time in which I took my theory test. I tried to follow this when she was doing one online, but I didn’t have a clue. As near as I can tell, it involves watching very grainy videos for signs of anything which can be called a hazard, for instance, a plane flying overhead which might soon drop inexplicably out of the sky, or a dimensional rift opening up in the road. After discussing it further, I discovered that by “hazard”, it means “idiot” - y’know, as in “that idiot who just tried to overtake me” or “that idiot who just stepping into the road without looking.” It’d have made much more sense initially to me had it been called the “Idiot Perception Test.”

Speaking of idiots, listening to the radio earlier, we heard that some genius has come up with a plan to house the unemployed with the elderly, “to take care of them for free room and board which searching for a job”. In reality, that can be rephrased as “to steal their money and keep them living under a constant blanket of fear while avoiding getting a job.” I’m certain it’s not just my total lack of faith in humanity which causes me to think this scheme would be a total clusterfuck of battered pensioners and the mooching jobless. Meanwhile in Birmigham a 13 year old avoided prison after holding up a newsagent with a sawn off shotgun for some sweets and cigarettes. It’s an unpopular viewpoint, but I’m beginning to wonder if a few years of conservative rule might not brutalise the people who need it… I’m not wondering enough to actually vote or anything, but you get the idea.