Diary of an up and coming sociopath

Well, I didn’t think mondays could get much worse, but god dammit if I didn’t top last week’s debacle. This week, the monday started when I set my alarm but neglected to set the clock properly. Resultantly, I was woken up in the morning by a horrendous piercing bleep approximately an hour before I had intended. Still, that’s a little better than late I suppose. After this, I slept until my normal time, got up, and as the four of us ambled over south park, I cursed the coldness of the day.

Then something happenned that I had long anticipated. Across in the distance, where road and park meet, we saw the Bus. Quick mental calculations ensued. “WE’LL NEVER MAKE IT!” doomsaid Ian. But it was too late, for the rest of us had taken flight across the solidified ground of South Park. Ice-ripped lungs and tear-strained eyes did little to prevent our advance, over the park, out of the gate, and across the road before collapsing in the bus doors mere seconds before it would have left. I can only imagine the spectacle of the four of us amused many a bus-rider. It’s a personal best, actually, to run at that time of the morning, on an empty stomach, in the cold. Inspired by necessity. Hmm. A good life philosophy if ever there was one.

As the nausea of such unplanned exercise slowly descended upon me I spent the rest of the journey propped against the offensively small seats of Wheatley Bus, my back cricked and my chest burning hotter than any non-smoking person’s lungs probably should. And what was all this for? A very crap lecture on networking. God help me.

The remainder of Monday was much more pleasantly sedate. I continued to convert Ian to the cause of Roast Dinners Uber Alles and from Tescos, I took a chance on a frozen pack of Part-Boned Chicken Fillets, because the price of Meat is expensive these days. They were excellent though, £5.50 for 7 works out much cheaper than fresh chicken, I’ll say that much. Around 8:30-ish, Nikki dispatched me to collect Rachel from her college because it’s getting to cold for her to cycle, which is fair enough, and if I can stop one more person from exercising my work is done. We all sat around watching Mastermind and complaining about how stupid the categories were getting (The Monty Python person beat the Civil War person. Wonder why..) and then watched University Challenge. There are two basic misconceptions about University Challenge we discovered were almost universally (no pun intended) held by us all as a child - The First is that we nearly all thought the teams actually were stacked above each other, rather than, as it would seem, on either side of, due to the composite shot they use, and the Second is that we all kind of thought that one day we would get to University and be as smart as the people on University Challenge. Wrong. Tom suggested they hold a “real” University Challenge where all contestants are taken from the lower percentile of grades and the actual Challenge is to make people turn up to the Quiz, let alone win it.

This morning George, Ian and I all made the terrible mistake of going to Wheatley to try and find Dr. Bob CHAMPION! but he didn’t seem to be around so we left without signatures, god dammit. I guess I have to wake up early on Thursday now too, or something equally annoying.

Well, it’s getting pretty cold. I mean in a kind of “my fingers are siezing up” way too, so given that I don’t have much more material I’m going to abandon this and find something slightly warmer to do. And there’s always Coursework. In fact, Maths needs to be in this Thursday, so maybe I’ll attack it now, which is what I keep saying but never doing…