Diary of an up and coming sociopath

For a change, I’ve decided to fill out one of those dodgy “poll” things that get spread across livejournals like SARs at an Avril Lavigne concert. I’ve aimed to do short answers for a change, if only because in this case the scope of the questions far outweighs my ability to write more than about 3 words for most.

THE FRUITS OF YOUR LABOR (things you can’t live without)
Something important on your desk: Notes Nikki wrote me.
When you sleep you wear: pyjama bottoms and, if it’s really cold, a T-shirt.
If you could afford it at the moment, you would buy: Spain.
Something you don’t have a lot of: Ideas.
If your house was burning and you could only save 3 items what would they be: My Hard Drive, Flywheels (the only original transformer I have) and the glass bottle of coke I bought the day Nikki and I went to see Coldplay. Insurance can cover the rest.

MORALS
If there were no side effects, you would enjoy being addicted to: I always imagined if I was going to be addicted to anything, it’d be opiates of some kind, but then there’s a lot to be said for psychadelic drugs. Of course, I wouldn’t actually enjoy being addicted to anything.
A time when you purposly hurt someone emotionally: I wouldn’t.
A time you accidentally hurt someone emotionally: I don’t want to talk about it.
One person you have killed in your thoughts: Hmm. It’d probably be easier to list people who I haven’t killed in my thoughts. There’s at least one person who’s getting violent deaths every day at the moment though…

FRIENDS:
Three traits you look for in a friend: Geekiness, humour and a lack of pretension.
Who makes you laugh most often: Tom or Mike
A friend who you can tell anything: None of them get to know everything.
A friend you can got to for advice: I don’t need other people’s advice.
The best piece of advice you had been given: Never eat yellow snow.
Two closest friends: Who can say? Nikki’s on the highest tier of friendship, and then there’s a whole bunch of people after that.
The friend who uses most of your energy: Nikki. ;-)

EGO
Your 3 best qualities: Patience, Tact, Morality.
Your 3 worst qualities: Jealousy, Pretensiousness, Disinterest.
Describe your ideal self: I am he.
A compliment that makes you blush: I don’t get compliments.
You are embarassed when: I am forced to speak in public because people like work I’ve done.
The greatest physical pain you ever endured: Wisdom Teeth coming through.
The greatest emotional pain you ever endured: Can’t think of any specific example, but it’s no doubt Nikki-related.
Moment you are most ashamed of: I have no shame.
Your best physical feature: My brainmeats.
Who/What makes you happy: Nikki, Knowledge, and the usual. Comics, Books, Music.
Who/what makes you sad: Nikki being sad.

EMOTIONS
Emotion you hide most: Most of ‘em.
The emotion you tend to experience most: Ambivalence or bemusement.
The emotion you are feeling most lately: Weariness, apathy, or boredom.
You have a huge amount of guilt regarding: I avoid guilt. My last instance of guilt goes back to when I was about 5 and I had to come home from school early because I was ill, meaning my dad couldn’t see me in the school play. We performed it twice in one day, Mum came to the first in the morning, Dad was going to come to the second in the afternoon when he was done with work. I was ill, so he couldn’t. Probably he wasn’t especially bothered, but it’s clearly affected me.
When you are angry you need: To be isolated.
When you are sentimental you need: Time to think.
When you are in love you need: Nothing else.

MEMORIES
One of your most peaceful memories: Listening to OK Computer in the dark.
One of your most scariest memories: Getting lost, for about 4 seconds, in Wellesbourne market, when I was like 5.
One of your angriest memories: It’s not for public debate.
A memory that makes you laugh: Nikki managing to mishear the lyrics in a song off the Romeo and Juliet soundtrack as something entirely nonsensical.
A memory that makes you happy: When Nikki and I both found out we got in to University.

LOVE
Something someone can say or do that you find attractive: Be self-aware.
Something someone can say or do that you find unattractive: Smoke.
Two physical things appealing about people: Stomach and lips.
A personality trait you find appealing: Sarcasm.
Your secret passion: I have little passion.
What you enjoy most about having a committed relationship: Having something bigger than myself to concentrate on.
Have you ever cheated on someone? Only I know for sure ;-)
Have you ever been cheated on? Only she knows for sure ;-)

FINALLY
If you had more time alone you would: Construct elaborate fantasies about mass murder and global reform, then forget it when I went to sleep.
If you had more patience you would: MORE patience? If I had any more I’d be a doormat.
If you could change one thing about your physical appearance what would it be: I would have wings 20 feet across, and the physiology to support that.
If you had no committments what would you be doing: Roaming the globe in search of adventure, killing those in my way.
If you could have one super power what would it be: Head explody!
If you could start all over…. I’d make the same mistakes in the same order.