Presently Dead Poet’s Society
24 06 2003If nothing else, Paul and Relly will be able to appreciate and share my disgust with this.
It’s (the Poet Laureate) Andrew Motion’s attempt at a Rap for Prince William’s birthday. It’s fucking indescribably awful. You know when you’re 9 years old, and you write poems in school, and they’re the most amateur pathetic shit that ever spewed forth from a pen? Well, it seems things come full circle, because this guy is supposedly one of the best poets in the country, and this “rap” is some of the most amateur pathetic shit that ever spewed forth from a pen.
I have re-presented it here, despite the excruciating pain it takes for me to read it.
Better stand back
Here’s an age attack,
But the second in line
Is dealing with it fine.
It’s a threshold, a gateway,
A landmark birthday;
It’s a turning of the page,
A coming of age.
It’s a day to celebrate,
A destiny, a fate;
It’s a taking to the wing,
A future thing.
Better stand back
Here’s an age attack,
But the second in line
Is dealing with it fine.
It’s a sign of what’s to come,
A start, and then some;
It’s a difference growing,
A younger sort of knowing.
It’s a childhood gone,
A step towards the crown;
It’s a trigger of change,
A stretching of the range.
Better stand back
Here’s an age attack,
But the second in line
Is dealing with it fine.
Eminem he is not. Don’t even get me started on rhyming “gone” with “crown”. I know it’s half rhyme or assonance or some crap, but I can’t stand that device above all others. It necessitates the person reading the poem to mispronounce one of the words in order to make things sound even half decent. Ugh.
I vomit better blog entries than this rap.
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